Блог учителя англійської мови Скорнякової М.Є.

Virtual tour to Britain: Ira Dmytrychenko, 10b


The How to Be British Collection
by Ira Dmytrychenko, 10b

During this summer I was reading the book entitled The How to Be British Collection. It is really a very interesting book, which helps us to be a real British. So I want to tell you about the most interesting parts of this book.

The first part is called Dress Sense. This part begins with scene in which two young women in crop tops showing their bare waists and shoulders, and mini skirts with no tights underneath are strolling along arm in arm. It is winter, so their outfit looks very strange. But it tells us more about the British. This is an example of famous British toughness. The fact is that the British dress to please themselves and to show their independence of fashion, weather, social convention and color theory. They don`t depend on the opinions of the others. For many foreigners visiting Britain is a welcome change to be able to dress without having to worry if their clothes are the wrong size, or don’t match, or are torn. I THINK WE SHOULD LEARN FROM THE BRITISH NOT TO BE DEPENDENT ON THE FASHION AND THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS.

The second part is entitled Sense of Humor. It tells about what makes the British laugh. It is not very easy to make the British laugh. It may take some time, but it can be done. The eager visitor should first become acquainted with the culture of the British. Understanding and telling jokes is an important part of social life in this country, and one that can cause frustration and embarrassment to the foreign visitor. It is very important build up your skills in this area slowly. Practise laughing at a few of the best known British jokes; start with very simple examples, and as you gain in confidence, try some even simpler ones. In this part you can find the most popular joke in Britain.
PATIENT: Doctor. Every time I have a cup o f tea, I get a stabbing pain in my eye.
DOCTOR: Well, try taking the spoon out.

The next part is called Meeting and Greeting. There are some rules how to meet and greet the British. When greeting a British person it is wise to keep your distance. Don’t be over-familiar, don’t assume intimacies you are not prepared to pay for. Some nations use kisses to greet each other. But it can be a mistake to use kisses greeting the British. Do not actually TOUCH the cheek with your lips. TO MY MIND IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW HOW TO MEET AND GREET THE BRITISH TO NOT TO OFFEND THEM AND NOT TO CROSS THE LINE. The way to greet a Briton for the first time is to offer them your hand — the ends of three fingers is quite sufficient. There should be no more than three shakes up and down. Don’t hang on or start squeezing the person’s upper arm and patting them on the back — this is not British. Kissing is not normally permitted except in the case of elderly ladies, you should respond by leaning towards their left side and kissing the air an inch or so above the cheek.

The fourth part I really enjoyed is Beds. It tells us that the sleep is very important part of our life as food and the weather. So the British think that we should prepare for the sleep properly. Before bedtime slip a hotwater bottle into the hollow in the middle of the bed (this bottle should have a knitted woollen ‘cosy’ around it for extra comfort). Make sure the cat is comfortable at the foot of the bed. So I agree that the sleep is very important part of our life and we should to prepare for it properly. Then you should make yourself a hot cup of cocoa. I think it is really good idea, I should try to do it. Also the British think that we should dress correctly in striped winceyette pajamas or a brushed nylon nightie. You should check that you have a bedside table with a lamp, and a suitable English book, such as the Shorter English Dictionary in two volumes or the Works of William Shakespeare.

And the last part I want to share my impressions about is Asking the Way. It tells about asking the British for help. It is not very easy to understand the British, because their accent can be complicated for us. But don`t show him that you don`t understand him. Do not burst into tears or start waving your arms and saying “Stop! Stop! I don’t understand”. Such a reaction may damage international relations. In order not to appear rude you should listen attentively to the native speaker with the lively appearance of understanding everything that is being said. The British are very kind and polite people and they enjoying giving directions to strangers. So if you want to ask British help you should be polite and listen them attentively.