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MEDICAL HUMOUR: Julia Kolchik, 11b

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Good Weekend
Written by Julia Kolchik, 11b

And again Ben woke up with the feeling that he would die very soon. He decided to go to the doctor and try to explain to him that he is sick. He went to different doctors and everyone sent him to hell. He went into the office to Dr. Heller and immediately said:

  - Doctor, I'm really ill. And I'd like to tell you all of my minor troubles and diseases. Sit comfortably and listen to the huge list of them. Firstly, I have nosebleed, headache, a scald, a bite. Secondly, yesterday I hurt my leg and when I wanted to relieve pain with ointment, I twisted my ankle. After that, I don't know how, I injured my arm. Moreover, I scratched my finger with paper and hit my little toe. It was very painful. Yesterday I was upset because I hurt every part of my body, and decided to disinfect my body with a bottle of whiskey. Then I mixed it with beer and champagne. Why did I do it? I was really upset. Later I felt giddiness and vomiting. And today I have hangover... Maybe I need take painkillers, aspirin, antibiotics or sleeping pills? Or maybe I must be operated on? Will my organs get inflamed?

- Okey, okey, stop this. I can't see any bruise or wound.
- Of course it's possible that I dreamed it all. But, well, I feel that everything is hurting and I will soon die.
- On the whole, I feel I must refer you to the psychologist. However I can give you advice. Take a vacation and relax.
- Is that all? Dr. Heller, I have huge problems with my health...
- Ne-e-xt..

  Ben left the hospital and suddenly saw advertisement for a sticks and decided to buy them. Next day Ben got to the mountains. And, quoting the first astronaut, he accelerated. At first he felt vomiting, but later he seemed to be flying. ....

  TO BE CONTINUED