Блог учителя англійської мови Скорнякової М.Є.

EVERYTHING THAT DOESN’T KILL US IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE US STRONGER: Rules for Teachers


Compiled by Alex Bobrova, 10c
(Bright example of the genre called “nonsense literature”)

During all 11 years students constantly complain about meaningless rules and restrictions. But what if we traded places with teachers? Would the universe explode or become a better place for all? Let`s imagine the world where teachers needed to follow ridiculous rules, that were made up by pupils. Let`s start with discipline. In this world every teacher must be punished if he or she raises their voice to 90-110 decibel. Teenagers get scared when someone shouts at them, so any scream would be forbidden. If that rule is violated, teacher is obliged to apologize in front of all pupils, for what they have done. For teachers’ sarcastic comment and humiliation pupils can obtain monetary compensation, including for moral harm suffered. Bulling is a terrible thing and every human needs to fight with it.

Secondly, having items that aren`t necessary for the lesson isn`t permitted, schoolmaster has rights to take them away and return them only to teacher`s parents. As all pupils have to wear school uniform, then teachers are required to do so as well. They ought to wear green jackets with their school symbol and completely abandon fashionable clothing. I regret to inform but for violating this rule schoolmaster will lower teacher`s salary. Teachers are allowed to eat in dining room with other pupils or cook for themselves if they want to. They are not allowed to make tea in the classrooms, because they have to drink it in the school canteen, even if it`s not tasty at all.

Thirdly, for missing classes teacher is obliged to give the explanation letter from parents or doctor to schoolmaster. During the breaks teacher must behave sensibly and not discuss students as it`s very rude. In the addition teacher will be forced to do morning exercises with student, because students may feel lonely while doing that task.

As for the safety, every teacher won`t be allowed to do anything before they check their action in special safety journal. In this case if teacher accidently dies after s/he has opened the window, schoolmaster won`t be responsible for that. If teacher breaks school equipment, he needs to buy it and he won`t be allowed to work with it again.

In conclusion, if those rules really existed nobody would survive, except for schoolmaster of course. Maybe that absurdity will help us to look at ourselves from the other side and change something in our lives. Maybe school behavior policy can be improved, so that any person, despite his age, might have rights and freedoms.