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Top 10 Tips to a Teen
How to Survive in the Rough World
(not really 10, because I wrote 5 and already have 35 sentences)
Danil Kotov, 10b
Nowadays, all teenagers think they`re already adults. But what is it like to be a real adult? Here are top 5 tips on how to survive in our rough adult world.
First of all, if you call yourself an adult, you should always drink alcohol. Also, you should let everyone know that you’re a legal alcoholic. For example, text your friends, acquaintances etc. “Oh maaaaan, I`m dayuum high”. If you do so, everybody will respect you. That`s what makes you MATURE.
Furthermore, remember to find someone to date. It is really important. Doesn`t matter whether you love the person or not, just date him/her. And as in the previous advice let every person in your surrounding know that. That way you`ll get perceived as a TRUE MAN with lot of experience.
Next, what you gotta do is swear on regular bases. Imagine, you got a bad mark for a math test. Make sure you shout “DAYUUUUUUM!” so those present could understand two things. First – you are really pissed off. Second – you are not afraid to get punished by teacher, which makes you BRAVE and COOL in the eyes of others.
In addition to the said above, don`t forget to dress like you`re going to a party. Doesn`t matter where you go, either to school, concert, theatre – DOESN`T MATTER. You`ll see jealous looks of your friends and people around you. You`ll swim in fame and everyone in your city will TALK ABOUT YOU LIKE ABOUT A CELEBRITY.
Another important thing is to make fun of people, you don`t like. Especially If they are better than you at some points. For instance, a guy from your form wrote a test better than you, but he is fat, skinny, whatever, ok? Do you know what to do? Right! Start to harass him as bad as you can. If you followed all tips above, everyone will join you and the guy will be humiliated. That is a simple way to save your ABOVE OTHERS position in society.
There it is! If you`ve done everything I recommended, you`ll never be someone that everybody makes fun of. You`ll even be able to be the one who makes fun of others no matter what. So go ahead to the apexes of easy adult life!